Desolation?

Desolation? Im pretty sure certain people has experienced this. Perhaps not? There were times where I felt so desolate and ended up crying myself to sleep like shit and waking up with a swollen eyes the next day. Sometimes I just felt like I have no one else to talk with; neither my family nor close friends so eventually I'll bursts into tears again while listening to a fullblast sentimental songs in my earphone;though its not good for my eardrum. They are people who also thought people like me will never have to face desolation or whatever shit and problems in life. In fact,all they thought were perfection that attached in oneself. I constantly think I am living sunch fantasy paradise land;having such happy,understanding,loving,helpful,hilarious family,relative,friends,having a nive comfy home to live in,clothes,delicious food,afford to buy pricey stuff and all,things that I owned,happiness and everything that I'm happy with,but when reality hits-BANG! Although I have all the things that I needed and wanting to have,but there is something that I just cant have .Its definitelynot a boyfriend.Of course I wouldnt say it in public right? Anyways, I am greatful and blessed with everyhting I have now. Life is too short but,I will never let this 'matter' bother me. No matter how they took me for granted(sometimes),I wont let this jeopardise my life and my future! I have so much more to prove in the future though. I know there are people who hates,dislike and annoyed by me,but I dont  give a damn. Because no one is perfect. Everyone has a feeling  of hatred,enviness,jealousy,you name it. I admit,I do have people that I dont click with but why would I messed things up? i would rather shut my mouth up and say nothing rather than having a row with them. Its totally unworthy! Besides,I dont buy the idea of which none of my surrounding people or acquitances never dislike or annoye by me or probably hates me, perhaps, because everyone hast the freedom to have whatever feelings towards someone. NO matter what,I still have my family or friends to support me .
Hypocrite? All lot of people thought 'hypocrite' are meant for certain people. Oh I dont think so. In fact, 'hypocrite is meant for every like creature on earth. I consider myself as a hypocrite as well because no one actually knows yourslef 100% when I myself dont really know who I am just yet. I may,but in the future. I  know,I do gossiped,underestimate,critisized people but now I have come to my senses,I realized something. Which I wont say here either.

Seriously, that was a piece of crap! I know it bore you people who reads this. I dont know why,but I just have to spill things out somewhere so I chose my blog since this is my blog and I am free to say whatever shit I want. otherwise,i'll go pyschotic someday.